The Power of Language

I want you to say to yourself you’re a loser, you’re going to fail. Keep saying this for at least then next couple of minutes………………. How do you feel? I’m willing to bet not too shit hot. Why am I starting what I hope will be a motivation article off like that? I wanted to demonstrate the power that language can have on us!!!

For many of the clients I work with this sort of language is circulating in their minds whenever they are faced with something that pushes their comfort zone and scares them. Their own minds undermine any chance of approaching the situation with confidence before they even get to the action part. The outcome is often a disaster and this creates a self-fulfilling prophecy where they create their own evidence to support the negative self-talk they engage in.

This sort of language can be draining emotionally and physically, I often like to think of it as a black hole in which he feeds on everything around it sucking it all into a spiral of darkness.

Now think of times when someone’s word uplifted you and made your day, the joy this created for you the power it had that changed your day, week or even your life. When you stop, and reflect like this it’s amazing to think of the power these words have on you and the meaning that we can attach to the simplest statement because of the language used.

As part of living a value based lifestyle we need to take responsibility for what we say. As we seek to develop ourselves we need to grow our awareness of the way we use language and the emotive power it can have in either promoting or detracting from our own wellbeing and the wellbeing of those around us.

“Our language is the reflection of ourselves. A language is an exact reflection of the character and growth of its speakers.”

Cesar Chavez

What can you do to utilize the power of language in your life? As I mentioned above taking responsibility for what you say is a good first step. What I mean by this is utilize the power of ‘I’ in your conversations. I love, I think, I want, I have, I do, I think are all examples of you taking responsibility. These ‘I’ statements demonstrate to the listener that your committed to what you’re saying and can help you banish fear and uncertainty from an interaction. It also helps you avoid the judgement trap ‘I find you attractive’ rather than ‘you’re good-looking’ is a very different message. One is based on your honest feelings free from judgement, the other is a vague statement against an unmeasurable definition.

‘I’ statements can also have a very negative effect on a us. Using statements such as I want, I can’t, I won’t help us reinforce imagined limitations in our lives and paint us as victims in the world.

In my video around overcoming fear I talk about the concept of removing power from emotions by reframing your language Overcoming Fear. My experience and the experience of many of people I have worked with is that through this process you gain self-belief in yourself for tackling the challenges you face in life.

I remember a particularly dark time for me at work when things weren’t going well, I was under the cloud of an employment investigation and I was feeling stressed, tired and generally questioning if I wanted to continue with my current employment. I remember saying over and over to myself that it isn’t fair, what I have I done to deserve this, how can I face this, telling myself that I am tired of the bullshit. All this negative self-talk just reinforced my negative feelings. It wasn’t till I sat down and actually took responsibility for the decisions I had made and was still making in feeding this black hole of negativity that I was able to turn the corner and face what I needed to face. Part of this process was changing the language I used to describe my situation, my feelings and my ability to overcome them.

• ‘It isn’t fair’ became ‘fuck it, fair or not I can deal with it.’

• ‘What have I done to deserve this’ became ‘What choices did I make and how can I learn from them.’

• ‘How can I face this.’ became ‘I can face this because I’m strong enough to deal with it.’

By taking responsibility for the language I was using and turning it into a much more powerful and supportive message to myself I was able to face that particular challenge with much more confidence. It didn’t change the fact I still had to deal with the issue, but I wasn’t adding my own negativity to the situation which meant I just had to face the external forces at play.

In my life, I have often found that when I used language that painted me as a victim in the world, helpless to my situation this is when I felt the worst. When I have taken responsibility for what I say and changed it into a more positive and powerful message it has often given me the boost I needed to face the challenges in front of me.

#language #motivation #communication